You Know You’re in Thailand When…

1. Ping pong isn’t just a sport that involves rackets.
2. You can tell which vehicles are newer based on their red license plates.
3. Having air conditioning blasting at all times is more important that turning off the car. Even while waiting at the gas (or petrol) station for fueling up, or running inside somewhere for a short (15 minute) stop. Oh, and not to mention all the plastic bags and straws - yes, I need one for my 500 ml bottled water, please!
4. You notice that people will walk by others, and especially their elders, while slightly stooped over. 
5. There is coconut in everything. And I mean everything! From drinks to purses to lamps to dessert. 
6. No one likes to walk anywhere. Even if it’s just down the street and only a block away. Get a cab!
7. People don’t care to know the address of where you need to go. They only want the name of the place and landmarks. What is an address, anyway?
8. You notice that Thai people are all standing around respectfully at 8 am and 6 pm. Or before a movie starts at the theatre (they’re paying respect to the King during the national anthem).
9. The mattresses are hard no matter where you go. My grandma would prefer sleeping on the concrete floor than on a mattress, and she’s almost 80 years old. 
10. Alone time is a thing of the past. Family is there when you’re eating, sleeping, after you’re married - really, any time of the day or night. 

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Beautiful dusk sky over Patong Beach. 

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Fried Sea Bass with Three Way Spice, from Tom Seafood in Patong, Phuket.

A Traditional Thai Wedding

Over the weekend, I was lucky to be able to attend my beautiful cousin’s wedding in Bangkok. The ceremony incorporated many traditional Thai customs, and it was very interesting to see. I’ve only been to one other wedding in Thailand, and that was about 11 years ago for a friend of a friend of my mother’s.

The morning started quite early, with more distant family members showing up as early as 5:30 am! The more immediate aunts and uncles and cousins had arrived by at least a day or two before, and we helped with any last minute preparations for the 400 expected guests and also did some visiting. I hadn’t met a large number of these relatives before, and it was a great opportunity to get to know them better, even though we were communicating in broken English and Thai most of the time. We had to get by on body language and translation skills of my mother and one of her sisters.

To start off the day, around 7:30 am, about ten monks entered the house to give their blessings to the wedding ceremony. This took quite awhile - probably about two hours. The bride and groom were present, and the monks stayed and ate a large meal that my family prepared at 3 am that morning.

Following that, the groom’s side of the family left and then came back in a large procession, bearing gifts being offered to the bride’s family so that we would allow him to have her hand in marriage. This ceremony included the giving of food and money and took another couple of hours to be completed in full. Once that was done and the bride’s family accepted, the groom placed the ring on his new wife’s finger.

From there, everyone lined up to pour water over the hands of the newly married couple’s hands, and gave their well wishes and congratulations. This whole ceremony took place over around 6 hours.

From there, we all went to a large Chinese reception hall at 1 pm for a 12 course meal. There was so much food, and various singers and dancers performed on a large stage out front. Unlike Western weddings I’ve been to, the morning ceremony was the longer portion of the event, while the reception ended close to 3:30 pm.

One last part of the day included having closer family members take the bride to her new home with her husband. This involved the husband and wife arriving by 8:09 pm (I don’t know the significance of this, unfortunately). This was followed by having an older couple make up the wedding bed in their new home together, and then lying down in it to pass on their prosperous marriage blessings and provide words of wisdom to the couple.

We then left for the night, to allow the newlyweds to enjoy their first evening together as a married couple.

Congratulations, Gib and Eaw!

I Pay You for Sex?

Well, that phrase about sums up my weekend in Pattaya. I’ve been generally going to bed very early, and getting up with the sun every morning at some point between 6:30-7:30 am. It doesn’t matter what day of the week, but I just can’t seem to stay up late here.  I’ve been enjoying working in the early parts of the day so I can spend the rest of it out exploring and having fun!

This past Saturday night, I decided to head out on the town to one of the largest nightclubs in Pattaya, called Mixx Discotheque, at the end of the famous Walking Street. Multiple family members of mine work there, including my cousin, who is one of the managers. I figured it was as good a time as any to visit, have some drinks, and do a little dancing. 

If you’ve been to Thailand before, and particularly this area of the country, you probably already know that ping pong takes on a whole new meaning here, and there are many prostitutes taking part in a rampant sex trade tourism industry.  (I am staying in Jomtien Beach for February, mind you, which is on the much quieter and not as crazy side of town.)

So, after going for a nice dinner overlooking a fantastic view of Pattaya Beach with my mother and her Thai fruit and vegetable carving teacher, we stopped by the fabulous Dusit Thani Hotel, where the Pattaya Women’s Tennis Open was about to wrap up the next day. Then we headed over to Mixx Nightclub at around 11 PM.

 

The nightclub has two rooms - one that plays Top 40 tunes, and the other where there is a DJ spinning house music (DJ Eddie Pay from Germany on this particular night, as I see from the CD that I found in my purse the next day). We were escorted in and settled into a booth with it’s own TV screen on the Top 40 side. I started off with a couple of Singha beers and chatting with some random people. 

Those Singhas turned into a few vodka sodas (with fresh lime, of course), and I made my way to the dance floor with some friends of my second cousin (who is a hostess at the bar). They had come in from Bangkok for a night out, and we communicated in broken English / Thai and various dance moves. And then I met several others along the way.

At one point, I broke off from the group and decided to head to the house room, and sat there for awhile just listening to the music and watching the insanely large crowd filling up the venue. People-watching in this bar was quite entertaining, for many different reasons. Let’s just say I learned a lot that night (and yes, I know this pic is fuzzy, just like some of the night).

After sitting alone on a bar stool behind the DJ booth for awhile (right where I was when the above picture was taken), a tall Caucasian tourist (presumably Russian, from what I could tell), approached me and started yelling at me in broken English. After I kept yelling that I couldn’t hear him, he just said, “Sex? I pay you for sex?” I laughed and told him I wasn’t for sale. He didn’t quite understand, and after some back and forth, he finally understood that I was a tourist, and not a prostitute (keep in mind, I was wearing a t-shirt, capris pants, and flat shoes - not at all like the outfits on the actual escorts that were scattered throughout the bar). Regardless, he gave it one last go, and asked, “Tourist? So no? I can’t pay you for sex? No sex?” Gotta give him points for persistence! I said he could never afford me, then he finally apologized and moved on.

Only in Pattaya. 

Regardless, I did meet some nice tourists that night - from California to Kuwait, and a few other places in between. Much fun, but I was in a bit of pain the next day, and extremely tired after getting home at 6:30 am. I think I’m good again for awhile.

Maybe when I head to Australia next month (and yes, I booked!)…

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Sunrise over The Golden Triangle

Meandering to Myanmar

Another day, another adventure.

After spending a relaxing few days in Chiang Mai and being super productive with work, it was time to meet up with the group again for another trek further north. I jumped on a bus (no breakdown, like last time) and headed to Chiang Rai, where our driver picked me up in the minivan and proceeded to take me up to Chiang Khong, along the border of Thailand / Laos. There, I was to meet up with everyone and then head over to the river at The Golden Triangle, where Thailand, Laos, and Myanmar meet.  The goal was to head over to the Win & Win Casino (part of the Golden Triangle Paradise Resort & Casino, prior to a partnership dispute) and spend a couple of nights checking it out.

From what I understand and could glean from a bit of research, there are several casinos in the area (more than 30 - like Southeast Asia’s own version of Vegas), and Thai people travel across the Ruak or Mekong River to submit to their gambling vices, as it’s not allowed back home. 

The day went fairly smoothly. I only had problems topping up my cell phone minutes, after attempting to do so at three different places, and a final call to the company call centre still didn’t get any results. I’ve never had these problems before, but apparently it’s a new type of sim card and can’t be refilled any other way except…well, I don’t know yet. After paying for the minutes and having to leave on the bus, the confirmation text never arrived and I was still unable to make any calls. I just had to hope that the bus make it to Chiang Rai on time, my driver would be there waiting, and nothing went wrong along the way. 

Alas, he was there right at the door when I arrived, and the bus was on time to the minute! He grabbed my bags and shuffled me to the car, and I thought we were going site seeing for a bit, as that’s when confirming plans with my mother before leaving Chiang Mai.

Well, it turns out that wasn’t the case, and we still had another 2 hour drive to go. I hadn’t gone to the bathroom at the station. About an hour into the drive, I asked in my broken Thai how much longer we had to go and found out that it was another ‘half an hour’. At this point, I couldn’t wait anymore, and I also knew that it might be up to an hour to reach our destination. So, after another 20 minutes of agony (it’d been 4.5 hours since my last bathroom break, and those who know me well will understand), I talked to the driver again, and asked him to stop on the side of the road. Except my weak vocabulary only allowed me to say, “Please, I have to go to the bathroom - really, really (or maybe hurry, hurry). Here, here,” as I then pointed frantically out the window to the rice paddies and hilly roadsides that we kept passing.  He didn’t quite get it and while I kept repeating myself, I noticed I didn’t have cell phone service, and started looking around for a bottle to relieve myself in. Yes - I was that desperate at this point. 

After waving my arms around wildly, he found the next small village and we pulled over. It was amazing - a fully clean bathroom, with not just soap and toilet paper, but even paper towels to dry my hands! This was too good to be true in a place like this! I have no idea what building we stopped at or why there was this freestanding large bathroom on the side of the road. I guess I’ll never know. 

Once that was out of the way, I relaxed for the remainder of the pain-free drive, and grabbed a quick bite in Chiang Khong while waiting for the rest of the group to come through the border from Laos. Less than 20 minutes later, I saw them all walking by, and we then drove another half an hour toward Maesai, where we pulled over on the side of the road and filed into the Win & Win boat to escort us across the river. 

We were off to the other side, and it took all of a single minute. There, staff grabbed our bags, put us into another vehicle, and drove us to the front door of the casino (and through the immigration ‘checkpoint’), with a stunning view of The Golden Triangle at dusk. It was nearly 6 pm at this point. A full day of driving, and we finally made it. 

And tomorrow? We’re apparently going back to Thailand (I think?) for some site seeing before coming back for the night at the resort. All I know is I have to show up at 8 am. Who knows what’ll happen next…